Muslim Fathers: What and Why!

The day I realized that I miss my 1+ year old son so much that I can cry and sob for him, I decided to start writing about my bonds with him. Since he was born, slowly and over time, our bonds grew stronger and stronger. Before being a father, I remember one of my very dear friend mentioning me how it feels to be a father. At that time though I understood his point, it was hard for me to 'feel' his point --- now I do!

I still remember my 1-hour old son's closed eyes, black hairs, and soft skin. A nurse wrapped him up in a neat sheet and handed him over to me! I thought, "Oh! so thats my boy!!; well what I have to do now!!". Then I recalled that my task is to call out Adhan and Iqamah in his ears. Yes, folks, I have waited for this time since he hasn't even started kicking his mom's tummy. I took him to the side of the room and softly announced that "God is great! I witness that there is no god but God; I witness that Muhammad is the messenger of God; Come to the prayers; Come to the success; God is great!", and I was thinking that this will definitely save him from Satan, and he will not call me names when he will grow up :) I then presented this little most precious gift to my wife. We both were running high with emotions and were a little bewildered on how to handle this new experience.

And then after a day or so when the nurse waved us good bye, she commented "Your life will never be same again". How right was she!! So how is life different since then? I will share this on these pages. But let me tell you it is a worth while experience. Just one year of sharing life with my son has created a new dimension in my personality and helped me improve some old dimensions! Now I can understand my father better and love him even more! Luqman's advice to his son now moves me! I am able to better connect with some of the stories preserved in hadith literature. I have experienced a new flavor of love! My heart melts away when I see kids, especially if I can somehow able to map them onto my son.

Now I can appreciate the efforts made by the fathers to take care of their kids. I feel the exertion they go through to feed, cloth and upbring them. I share their struggle to capture the attention and love of their kids in the strong presence of their ever-loving moms. I can find them rowing upstream and living with a far less acknowledgment for this. To make things worse, Muslim fathers are in general portrait as some emotion-less creatures concerned only about the material needs of their kids. They are singled out for the "advice" by the enlightened people about the need to share the quality time with their kids. In making judgments about them, no regard is given to their efforts, feelings, and aspirations. On one hand a set of social expectations is imposed on them and on the other hand they are blamed for not being able to get rid of those social expectations! There may be many Muslim fathers who are setting up a wrong example, but by using a big broad brush all Muslim fathers are painted negative, not only by some of the non-Muslims rather sometimes by their own co-religionists!

When I realized my feelings about being a father, I looked around and I found so many Muslim fathers, who are caring, loving, concerned, responsible, and playful --- indeed fatherly! So I decided to write - to write for myself - to write for Muslim fathers!! I hope you too will join me.

So let us talk positive, let us share our stories ...

... stories about good fathers, and may be some stories about bad fathers!!
... and stories about good kids and stories about bad kids!!
... our love for kids, our love for girls and our love for boys
... our quality time with them and non-quality time with them :)
... our concerns for them, and our expectations from them

simply, let us talk ... let us talk about being a Muslim father!!

Raza